During: Squad Banter

Garrus: If this ends with the both of us dying in a giant explosion killing a Reaper, just remember. I took the kill shot.

overheard in during
(30 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Shepard: The bartender over there?

Liara: The matriarch hired by the asari gouvernment to track my movements?

Shepard: She’s your father.

overheard in during
(7 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Eve: I should consider him an enemy. Yet I think seeing my sisters and I changed something in him.

Mordin: Asari-vorcha offspring have an allergy to dairy, and… da-di-di-dee-di-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-di-di-di…

Shepard: Well it wasn’t his ear.

(13 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Traynor: What’s the difference between Commander Shepard and a krogan?

Shepard: I don’t know.

Traynor: One is a rampaging juggernaut of head-butting destruction…

Shepard: And the other doesn’t have a wisecracking assistant to keep in line.

Traynor: Oh that one is even funnier than the number of testicles punchline.

(21 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Garrus: I’m Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!

overheard in during
(28 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Tali: Don’t say “Ah” to me, you sound like a vorcha.

overheard in during
(11 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Javik: Your “Liara” asari asks many questions. You would think she’d never seen a prothean before.

thanks to from
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(12 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Javik: This has been… amusing.

Shepard: Oh?

Javik: To discover the most primitive races of my time now rule the galaxy. The asari, the humans, the turians…

Liara: There’s also the salarians.

Javik: The lizard people evolved?

Liara: I believe they are amphibian.

Javik: They used to eat flies.

(37 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Liara: Joker, really? I have work to do.

Joker: Aw, come on it’s just one simple question.

Liara: Then look it up on the extranet.

Joker: You can’t believe everything you find there, it’s more reliable to ask a friendly asari.

Liara: I’m not telling you if my “hair tentacles” move!

Joker: Fine. Deny me the answer I’ve been seeking for years. With this war on, we could die at any second, you know.

Shepard: You know he’s going to keep bothering you till you tell him.

Liara: [sigh] They’re semi flexible cartilage-based scalp crests that grow into shape. And they don’t “flop around”.

Joker: Yes! Thanks Liara, I gotta tell Vega I was right.

Liara: Well, at least he’s making friends.

(33 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Tali: I heard about your talk with Liara. You act so angry, but you really care about us.

Javik: I need you functional to destroy the Reapers.

Tali: You care about Liara. You like her.

Javik: You are intoxicated. A foolish risk given quarian symbiotic physiology.

Tali: And you like me, too!

Javik: This conversation is over.

overheard in during
(33 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Mordin: Certainly possible. Would require strengthening exercises. Get muscles to support weaker bone structure.

Joker: Right. Yeah, I can do that.

Mordin: Alloy of EDI’s body not like organic tissue. Could cause unintentional damage. Recommend pillows, cushions, possibly gel packs.

Joker: Okay, that’s a little weirder, but… yeah alright. Cushions.

Mordin: Positioning critical to success. Could forward EDI charts, videos with relevant data.

Joker: No, no no! Let’s uh… EDI’s pretty busy with, you know, stuff. Let’s… uh send that to me. You’re not gonna tell anyone about this, right? Like Shepard? Shepard doesn’t really need to know.

Mordin: Guarantee Shepard won’t learn about it from me.

Joker: She’s standing right there, isn’t she?

(27 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Sergeant Haron: Our scanners are picking up false readings. They seem to think you’re dead.

Shepard: I’m getting that everywhere..It’s a pain in the ass.

overheard in during
(19 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Shepard: That’s it for now. Let’s get back to work.

Werx: Uh, yeah.

Shepard: Something wrong?

Wrex: Mordin. He got his tissue sample from me all right… Let’s just say scalpels were never meant to cut where he cut.

(15 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Liara: You’re giving me asari commandos?

Matriarch Aethyta: Well you’re too old for a damn pony.

Liara: You’re the best father a girl could have.

overheard in during
(27 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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Tali: Shepard! Want a drink?

Shepard: So… how are you getting drunk, anyway?

Tali: Very carefully. Turian brandy… tripled filtered and introduced into the suit through this… emergency induction port.

Shepard: That’s a straw, Tali.

Tali: Emergency. Induction. Port.

(61 votes) That never gets old, does it?
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